Trials

This year has been a year of trials.  Most people do not know but Mike and I started off the 'school year' with the news that we were pregnant.  While we were not expecting to become pregnant so fast we were really excited!  However, soon after ~7 weeks we had a miscarriage.  I can honestly say it was the most difficult time of my life.  I had a great support group of family, friends and our small group (who put up with a difficult me for a while)..

At the same time my aunt Cindy was losing her battle to cancer.  It was actually the same day of her funeral that we found out we miscarried.  I always like to think of Cindy holding my little baby up in heaven :)

The months after the miscarriage were hard... but I clung to the hope of what God was trying to teach me in the season of trials.  I had to put my faith in Him!  Every month I had increased tension/worry that I would not become pregnant or that something was wrong with me.  That my body somehow was unable to carry a child.  I have had few trials in my life that have pushed me... beyong struggling to find a teaching job last year I honestly have not had to depend on God alone to get me through something tough in life.

I am learning in a season of trials that I need to completely trust him that beyond what I think is best... God has my best interest in mind.  EVEN if that means I go through suffering.  It has taken me months to get to this point & by no means does this make every day easy... many are still hard at times.

Anyways, the past month or so have brought on some concerns.  My grandpa is in the hospital after having a major triple bypass surgery.  He has been up at the hospital for some time now and is making steady progress.  It was slow at first but we are seeing positive signs.  I am thankful for him and I know God is working in my families life through this.

Within the same week of that I found out that I am moving up a grade with my students.  I will no longer be at 5th grade but will be moving to a new building, new teachers, new rules, new administration, new... new new! I have the same students (IDK how they will feel about that ;) ) !

Wow!  God surely is teaching me a lot lately.  I know that God will not give me more than I can handle, but more importantly I trust that.  I have been walking through a dark valley but amidst that valley is Gods presence.  I write this today as today was the due date of our sweet little baby.  I was reminded this morning of Gods faithfulness and glory when the daily verse on my bible app was: Psalm 129:13-14

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

God is my shepard.  God is my Savior.  He is my hope!
I choose to trust Him.

As the school year comes to a close, I see this summer as a rejuvenating summer.. a time to reflect on my life, my faith and focus on what God wants of me :)

-Alisha